where you lose control of all emotions and one thing triggers it: you ruin your lover’s day. 
And how petty and how senseless and how unfair it all is for these emotions to ruin your day, your lover’s day. I take things too personally, and it builds up and then you’re by yourself and you take control. I am reckless inside and I am unfair and dependent. But why? Where are the answers? It is a learning process to get to know one’s self. And I am incredibly sorry, so fucking sorry, and saying I am so sorry just repeats in my head until eventually I’ll fall asleep and know everything is falling apart. 

You will never see this. And if other’s see this and saw what a shit show I was tonight, I am so sorry to you as well.